2005-12-09 - 11:45 p.m.
Oh boy! Tonight was the resort x-mas party. Let me start off by saying that since I have moved to the island, I have lost over 15 pounds and am at my lightest weight of the millennium.
Until tonight. The Party was at the Kapalua Seafood Buffet. For those of you not familiar with Kapalua, it is the resort/golf course where the Mercedes-Benz Classic is held. Personally I don't care about this but it is a way to explain how nice this place is and how out of place I am there.
In any case, I felt lucky just to be invited, after all I haven't worked 100 hours for them in the last two months. Nevertheless I was invited and I got bounty too. A $75 gift certificate for dinner, a $25 GC for the local fish market, a GC for safeway and a duffle bag from the resort. Sweet, I gave all of it to my parents for x-mas since i have no cash to buy them presents and they won't be here.
Then there was dinner. After my first plate (of course there were multiple plates, this is a buffet and I am an eater), I kept hearing, oh this was good, and mmm, that is good. This presented me with a dilemma, I had lost plenty of weight and am well on my way to my goal, but then there was free food. If I get food, should I opt for the tasty desserts or more meat? I opted to stuff myself and get both.
It dawned on me after my second plate that I had eaten chicken for lunch and had had a number of animals for dinner already. So, in true Suit-of-Meat style, I decided that today was the day I eat more animals than ever before. I scoured the buffet line making sure I got at least one morsel of every beasty present. The following is a list of the animals I can remember eating today:
Chicken
Cow
Pig
Shrimp
Crab
Muscles
Oysters
Clams
Red Snapper
Salmon
Ahi
Tuna
Octipus
Marlin
and a few unnamed fish
all in all, a very prosperous day. I realize that this goal may seem a little strange to someone outside my world, but I figure, if I am going to be a carnivore (barely an omnivore really), I may as well do it up right.
The desserts were of course fabulous too, there was this thing, it was a chocolate cup filled with a liquored whip cream topped with chocolate shavings. The food form of sex if I ever had it.
So, the message is I guess in a nutshell, if you have a face, game on because I will eat you if you appear on my plate. Like an Anti-Noah, one or two of every animal, in my belly. I gained 8 pounds.
Have a gay XXX-mas - 2005-12-23
Give it back, give it back, give it back! - 2005-12-22
A high degree of creepy-ocity - 2005-12-19
KING DORK - 2005-12-14
Cleaning House - 2005-12-13
