2007-02-06 - 2:01 a.m.
So, I am lazy and do not want to write right now. Here is an example of me and my cousin, in what interactive writing is for us. Rather then these boing old monologues I always have.
suitofmeat: ahoj moje sestrenice
Catspajamas: what language is that?
suitofmeat: Czech
Catspajamas: i kind of understood it
suitofmeat: yeah, it has some latin-ish roots and similarities
suitofmeat: I like that ahoj(ahoy) like a sailor is hello and goodbye
suitofmeat: what's up wit u?
Catspajamas: nothing, called out sick because i was tired and didnt feel like working, slept in, and now for some reason have an enormous headache
suitofmeat: did you eat any babies today?
Catspajamas: no im all out. they really dont keep
suitofmeat: bathe in the blood of a puppy?
Catspajamas: puppies are too small, they really dont contain enough blood to bathe in properly
suitofmeat: eat any deep fried kitten tails?
Catspajamas: im trying to loose weight
suitofmeat: well see, Ghandi drank his own urine everyday to build up his immunities against his own toxins. And despite all the horrible things, the world is still filled with cuteness too. You have no resistance.
suitofmeat: those 100% unfiltered cute rays would give anyone a headache
Catspajamas: you may be right
suitofmeat: well then go out there and find some retarded people sitting on a park bench in love eating ice cream, and bite them
Catspajamas: and from then on- whenever the moon is full- they will turn bitter and lazy!
suitofmeat: HA HA HA HA HA
suitofmeat: well put
suitofmeat: genius, unadulterated
Catspajamas: thank you
suitofmeat: I had been quite happy with just the thought of you sneaking up on retarded people eating ice cream in the park, and then biting them, but . . .
suitofmeat: new level, a nice twist, . . .
suitofmeat: and so what would happen if I bit them?
Catspajamas: i dont know, theyd have bad luck with relationships and be compelled to move every few years?
suitofmeat: how unfortunate for them
suitofmeat: they'd be better off bitter and lazy
Catspajamas: it works for me
suitofmeat: I imagine the moonlight urge to move would be quite difficult to accomplish for retarded people, which would leave them bitter to boot anyway
suitofmeat: did I tell you that my roommate and I have a fabulous new story about a man and a mountain goat who switch places
Catspajamas: no! but please do so!
suitofmeat: well, I'm not sure how it works with text, but basically, this guy gets fed up with his job and quits.
suitofmeat: He walks the world and sees the majestic mountain goats
suitofmeat: immediately the simplicity of thier life and the joy of bounding around mountains and standing on tall things appeals to him
suitofmeat: though he longs to live thier life, he fears he cannot be accepted
suitofmeat: until through realization, or discovery channel or helpful friend, he realizes all he has to do to be thier leader is to beat the alpha male
suitofmeat: so he trains, and of course conquers the alpha male taking claim over a harem of goats and the mountain itself
suitofmeat: the old goat leader, ashamed, walks the land
suitofmeat: until he accidentally finds himself in the human resources department of a poorly run and vastly understaffed corporate HQ (so, any corporate HQ)
suitofmeat: He is immediately labeled as a lower rung employeee and starts in the mail room. Though he eats many of the letters, he is kept on simply because he shows up on time every day.
suitofmeat: Everything is going swimmingly for him until one day an executive barrates him for eating mail during a meeting.
suitofmeat: Using his mountain problem solving techniques, the goat rams him, pushing him through the window of the skyscraper they work in.
suitofmeat: The office is understandably upset and confused, if Mr. Smith is dead, who is the boss? They are only middle management and do not have the ability to think or make decisions.
suitofmeat: After a few moments of confused wandering it is noticed that the goat has proudly stood upon the watercooler. Since he looked confident, was the tallest and had in fact killed the previous executive
suitofmeat: it only made sense that he was the natural choice
suitofmeat: so begins his meteoric business rise
suitofmeat: his no nonsense negotiation techniques soon earn him a VP position in the firm and a lucrative book contract (ghost written of course)
suitofmeat: it goes on for some time, what do you think?
suitofmeat: his name is Mr. Bahh and there are many little jokes along the way
Catspajamas: thats the best story ive ever heard
suitofmeat: sweet
Catspajamas: and completely true you say?
suitofmeat: absolutely every word
suitofmeat: it happened to my roommates friend
suitofmeat: there was some hubbub when he returned to the 10 year reunion with a harem of goats and coincidentally Mr. Bahh showed up, having met his High School Girlfriend and married her
suitofmeat: but I think everything turned out ok if I remember
Catspajamas: awwww, thats good
suitofmeat: best story ever you say?
Catspajamas: its freakin' "gone with the wind"
suitofmeat: you know it is times like this, after a man realizes that he has told the greatest story ever, that he realizes things
Catspajamas: such as?
suitofmeat: for instance, if I am going to accept the Noble prize for liturature, I should probably get some chapstick
suitofmeat: sounds like a lot of work though
suitofmeat: maybe I'll just go to the park and bite retards
Catspajamas: and steal their chapstick?
suitofmeat: not unless I win the Noble prize for bitng retards
suitofmeat: and I'm sure other people do that better anyways
Catspajamas: this false modesty doesnt suit you
suitofmeat: well, I had to try it out, but you're right, it feels a bit like polyester and I only wear silken self images
Suit-of-Pajamas or Cats-of-Meat - 2007-02-06
By any othe name - 2007-01-26
Attack of the ex-grilfriends - 2007-01-03
From ABC to ZMB - 2006-10-24
Long time, No see - 2006-10-13
